The agents stepped into the story in the middle of the first chapter, which consistent only of an elaborate author's note. As a result the scene of the story was not yet set. The agents stood in a large room with grey walls, grey ceiling and grey floor. And a sound system.
A Tunneler looks almost exactly like a human, only all their eyes are a chocolatey brown.
"All their eyes?" Emma asked. "They have more than the regulatory two?"
Tasmin shrugged. "I guess we'll see."
After some more wailing on about the episode Flesh and Stone the author finally decided to let the story start. A setting started to develop around the two PPC agents: the secondary control room the Doctor and company had escaped to in the episode. A moment later the group arrived.
Amy Pond, silightly injured and scared, River Song, gasping yet smiling, the Doctor, an expressionless face looking to see everyone, Father Octavain and four remaining men, Lieutenant Briggs, Lieutenant Linen, Lieutenant Skylar, and Lieutenant Kytex.
"First charge," Tasmin said. Emma smirked and pulled her notepad from her shoulder bag. "Father Octavian's men are clerics and they have sacred names, not last names. Though these four men were not yet introduced in The Time of Angles, this chapter was posted after Flesh and Stone so there is no excuse for not calling these men clerics Pedro, Marco, Crispin and Philip."
Octavian ordered his men and Amy to hold down fort. Without questioning how Amy ran to one of the clerics. The Doctor looked around for any ideas to hold out the Angles who were on the other side of the doors banging them down. Suddenly Amy collapsed. Everyone rushed to her side.
The Doctor stood, praying in his heart that Amy was not dead. To his relief he heard a moan from Amy. Thank the Lord.
"Thank what Lord?" Emma said. "What possibly trumps the last of the Time Lords?"
"Charge, causing the Doctor to find religion."
The banging on the doors stopped. In stead some footsteps could be heard on the other side of the door. River ordered the men to have their guns ready. The clerics shouldered their weapons.
"Clerics taking orders from someone that is not in a position to order them around."
The door rippled and a figured stepped through it. A woman dressed in a red t-shirt, skinny jeans, and rainbow coloured high-tops.
The agents quickly ducked behind a control panel before the Sue had time to look around the room.
Her eyes were a milky brown (no, not from twilight :]),
The in-text author's note made the agents cringe.
"And we still don't know how many eyes she's got," Emma whispered.
Tasmin put a finger to her lips to indicate her to be quiet. They didn't know how many eyes she had, but also didn't know how well the Sue's ears worked.
Other than Amy - who was unconscious on the floor - the canon characters were all stunned and shocked someone had just walked through the door. The Sue informed them she was not an Angel. The Doctor was "utterly befuddled" and told the men to lower their weapons. Again they took orders from anyone other than the bishop. The Doctor asked the Sue who she was.
"Sinata Lakebed," she said, in a sort of bowing motion. "Tunneler. I would be at you're service if you weren't pointing freaking guns at me." She blinked again as the soldiers discarded their weaponry.
"Capable of mind control," Emma wrote down.
The Doctor was surprised to hear she was a Tunneler. He believed they had all been killed by the Weeping Angels.
Tasmin grumbled lightly.
Emma turned her head to her partner. "Something on your mind," she whispered to her.
Tasmin grunted again. "The Angels don't kill. They displace people in time. The Doctor even mentioned this during one of these episodes. He was very surprised to learn the Angels had killed the three clerics," she whispered in her partner's ear.
"Blatantly disregarding canon information," Emma wrote down and showed the pad to her partner. Tasmin nodded her agreement.
The Sue mocked the Doctor for being wrong; obviously she was still alive. Then she explained what a Tunneler was.
[A] Tunneler is a humaniod creature of one heart, but black blood in instead of red and our systems work differently,
"Differently as opposed to what?" Tasmin said - the Sue continued her own story, so Tasmin's little outburst above whisper level had gone unnoticed. "In the Whoniverse a humanoid is pretty much any bipedal creature. Even the Weeping Angels are humanoids. And I doubt anyone would argue that their systems work similar to any other humanoid."
Emma made another note. While the Sue rambled on about Tunnelers and Enforcers, which seemed to be their archnemeses, the agent noticed something else: "Did everyone forget the Angels are after them, including the Angels? Shouldn't this lot still be looking for a way to get away from the Angels?"
"It seems the Angels have stopped trying to get into the room."
"Did she defeat the Angels?"
"Considering how many of them there are, that would most definitely be a charge."
"The Doctor managed to defeat all of them in the end."
"Actually, it was the Angels that defeated themselves."
The Sue got to the part where she told them how she could defeat an Angel, one at the time: she could phase into it and then break it from the inside.
Tasmin nodded her head lightly.
"Impressed?" Emma asked.
"I'm not against it," Tasmin replied.
Father Octavian thought the Sue could save them.
"Has he seen how many Angels there were in the maze? They're not saved until all the Angels are out of commission. That could take the Sue a sweet while, 'cause she has to destroy them one by one."
"And meanwhile the rest of the Angels could still attack. Father Octavian has not been listening closely to the Sue, or he's not a very good strategist."
When the Sue disagreed with Father Octavian she received angry looks from all in the room. She explained that it took her weeks to find the weak spot of an Angel in order for her to phase into it. One of the clerics expressed his feeling that they were done for.
"No, no, NO. We're NOT."
All heads, except that of the Sue - but including that of the still unconscious Amy - turned to look at the Doctor who had spoken up. The Sue couldn't stand that she was not the centre of attention any more and collapsed onto the floor. The Doctor didn't finish his thought but immediately rushed to the Sue's side.
The Sue explained that she was searching out the Angel she had been observing previously. She could tell where it was by "inversing", but as a result she was turning to stone.
"She's turning into an Angel?" Emma said. "Why is this not causing a panic?"
"Because they are all too dumb to fully realise what the Sue just said."
Rather than deal with this new information, one of the clerics reminded the Sue that she had promised to tell them more about her people's nemeses.
Sinata laughed, rising to her feet. "You're a sharp one, there, my friend."
"Sharp as a tool," Emma said. "Though mainly just a tool. Imminent death is outside the door, and his response is: please tell me more about your folklore?"
The Sue told them about a previous run in with the Angels. From which the Doctor concluded that she was not very motivated to help them now. He wondered what to do. The Sue flopped down in a chair and said they should wait.
"Wait? The Doctor does not wait. I'm surprised he has even taken time off from saving everyone to listen to the Sue."
"That's probably because the Angels seem to have stopped their attack."
"Shouldn't that have made him more worried?"
"Of course. And there's Amy unconscious on the floor. He'd like to know about that too."
After a silence the Sue asked the cleric if he had ever killed anyone, when he said he hadn't, she told him she had and that it didn't make her feel good.
When you kill someone, the heart inside you swells, and you do not have the energy to do anything for a while. To kill someone is to kill yourself, an unintentional suicide.
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "Please. She's just admitted to killing a number of Angels and Enforcers. If you kill yourself when you kill another, that would make her very dead right now."
Emma peered carefully around the control panel to look at the Sue who was sitting in the comfy chair slowly pivoting it from side to side. "Looks very much alive to me. At least, I think a ghost wouldn't soap box like that."
The Doctor, whom had killed many before, looked down in shame
"I'm pretty sure ghosts are not capable of mind control either," Emma added.
Amy started to wake from her unconscious state and moaned. Quickly the Doctor and River Song were at her side. So was the Sue, who told the others to step away from her because Amy was turning into an Angel. She was already part way turned to stone. The Sue explained this was because Amy had looked into the eyes of an Angel.
I'm an exception because I've been around Angels all my life.
"I thought even Angels couldn't look into the eyes of another Angel," Emma said. "They turn to stone permanently if they do."
"Not sure they have to look each other in the eyes for that. But write up this Sue for being impervious to the Angels."
River asked how the process could be reversed, and the Sue said it could be done with the aid of a dreamcatcher.
The agents looked at each other. "I've got to see this." Emma jumped up.
"Might as well," Tasmin grumbled and scrambled up.
"Hey, Sue, over here," Emma called.
The Sue turned to the agents, her hand stuck in a pocket as Emma had interrupted her search for the dreamcatcher. "Who are you? Where did you come from?"
"We're Protectors of the Plot Continuum. We've been here awhile."
The clerics raised their weapons at the two PPC agents.
"Then again, it might have been better if we had waited a little bit longer."
"Uh, gentlemen. We're here to help you, unlike this creature." Emma nodded her head to the Sue. "So, we'd appreciate it if you turned your guns elsewhere."
The clerics looked at Father Octavian for confirmation and he indicated that they could lower their weapons.
"Thank you." Emma smirked then turned her attention back to the Sue who now stood holding the dreamcatcher in her hand, and a scowl on her face. Emma smirked again. "Sinata Lakebed, we are Protectors of the Plot Continuum. We are here to charge you with crimes against fanfiction in general and Doctor Who fandom in particular. To start with the former. We charge you with some bad spelling and poor choice of words. We charge you with using an in-text author's note. Bad, bad thing." Emma looked at the Sue. "Bad thing. More specifically we charge you with not knowing that Father Octavian's men carry the rank of cleric, and with making up names for them.
"We charge you with having these clerics following orders from everyone, including you. They should only following orders from the Bishop. We charge you with distracting everyone from the fact they were under attack by the Angels. We charge you with making the Angels forget they were attacking."
"That's because I killed the Angels that were trying to break into this room."
"Did you? How convenient that of all the Angels on this planet, the few that you knew how to kill were attacking the Doctor and friends. And that the Angels did not send reinforcements."
The Sue seemed to try to take in what Emma was saying. She glared at her as a show of her understanding. Emma just shrugged her shoulders and continued.
"We charge you with making the Doctor out of character. He does not forget about a danger that is out the door; he does not forget if a friend of his is not well, but he also does not pray for that friend's well being. We charge you making the Doctor think there is a being more supreme than he is.
"We charge you with everyone being more interested to hear your life's story, and the story of your people, than to get a safe passage out of here. We charge you with everyone putting their lives on hold for you. We charge you with not being susceptible to the Angels' methods of defeating their enemies, despite that fact that the Angels managed to kill off three-quarters of your species. We charge you with the Angels actually killing your species. We charge you with the Doctor knowing about this genocide, yet in the episode being surprised to learn that the Angels actually kill, rather than displace people in time. That is, we charge you with blatantly ignoring canon information. We charge you with pulling a dreamcatcher out of a pocket of your very tight clothing. And lastly, we charge you with being a Mary Sue. You have been charged."
"Fine. Can we now get on with our business? I have to prevent this girl from being turned into an Angel."
"Your punishment for these crimes is death," Emma said. "Tasmin will execute you."
Tasmin shot the Sue, which earned her a glare from the Doctor.
"There was no need for that," he said. "No one dies on my watch."
"Perhaps you should have looked the other way."
The pounding on the door started again. Father Octavian put a device on the door through which the group had entered the secondary control room and explained he had magnetised the door. Amy scrambled to her feet and joined the Doctor at the control panel. He was already scanning the equipment with his sonic screwdriver.
"I guess canon's already overridden the Sue's influence."
"Yeah, and to finish the job, we'll just have to dispose of this Sue. Grab her feet. I think we should throw her into the crack." Tasmin opened a portal nearer the crack. "It will be like she never even existed."
The agents looked at the crack through the portal.
"Do you supposed Moffat has read Whobadfic, or even PPCfic and decided to offer an in-canon helping hand?"
Tasmin shrugged. "I guess it's possible."
Emma and Tasmin picked up the Sue and threw her through the portal. She landed a few metres away from the crack, but soon tendrils of the light came out and licked around the Sue. Within moments she was gone. Tasmin closed the portal.
"Does this mean we will also forget about the Sue?" Emma asked.
"Sadly, no. She's not part of our lives. No more than these clerics were part of Amy's live, and she remembered all of them." Tasmin opened a portal to their response centre.
"Oh, and how did you feel after you killed that Sue?" Emma asked stepping through the portal. "Did your heart swell?"
"It swelled with pride."