A Few Glitches

Episodes of the A-Team often had glitches in them. Examples of these are sudden night fall followed by equally sudden day break; Murdock repeatedly changing his footwear (!); and my own personal favorite: Faceman making a calculation error. Unsurprisingly — or perhaps surprisingly: fic writers don't have a tight budget or filming schedule to content with — similar glitches appear in fanfics. Luckily, I can send Tasmin and Allison in to fix those, whereas I can do nothing about getting Murdock back his high tops.

About Face by clairon

Allison was doing sits ups as the console rang out a friendly beep. She stopped in the middle of a cross sit up and looked at the console in surprise: it actually had been a friendly beep. "What was that?"

"Just a minor glitch that needs repairing," Tasmin replied as she walked over to the built in cupboard and retrieved an umbrella from it.

"We do glitches now?"

"We work on commission. We take pretty much every job."

Allison knew that was true.

"C'mon, get up." Tasmin opened a portal and stepped through.

Allison scrambled up to follow Tasmin. In passing she threw a look at the console. "About Face", well that didn't leave much to guess who would be the main character. And if they were going in that probably meant that the author was love struck. She shuddered as she stepped through the portal. She shivered as she emerged on the other side in the pouring rain.

"At least you brought something to shield us from the rain."

But Tasmin didn't put up the umbrella. "It's not for us," she replied. "It's for them."

Allison looked on at the two figures. One holding a colorful brolly, the other beside it in full battle gear, completely soaked. "They've already got a brolly. They can share, can't they?"

"No, they can't. That's the whole problem. Hannibal is not supposed to be holding a brolly. We have to change it for this umbrella."

Allison rolled her eyes. Someone had once called her pedantic!

"Ready?" Tasmin asked.

"Guess so."

"Let's go!"

The two agents ran for Hannibal and Peck. Allison pushed past Peck as she grabbed Hannibal's brolly. The push made Peck lose his balance and he fell face down in the mud. Tasmin quickly trust the umbrella she was carrying in Hannibal's now empty hand.

He stared after the two figures that sped away with his umbrella, baffled. Rain drops falling in his collar quickly made him aware they had given him a replacement umbrella. He put it up. Then he bent over to Peck, still lying in the mud.

"Get up, Lieutenant, the day isn't over yet."

Peck growled in reply.

"That is: growl, Sir!"

Mirror Image by Traser SyberJedi

Tasmin stared at the screen of the console, slurping in air, and sounding a bit like Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs. Allison tried to convince herself this was not in the least bit disconcerting. Allison never was a good liar.

"This is a tough one," Tasmin finally said.

"We've dealt with several Sues that could give Superman a run for his money. How tough could this one be?"

"We've got Crane and Decker in a moving vehicle and Lynch for some reason on the backseat. We have to go in and take Lynch out."

"Er, he's canon. We don't shoot canon. Ever." Allison was surprised that she had to remind Tasmin of the rules, but then, sooner or later, PPC agents would start to loose their marbles. Even efficient killing machines like Tasmin.

"I don't mean out like that. I mean out of the car. We have to relocate him."

"So we're with the Witness Protection Program now."

"Something like that." Tasmin started typing at the console. A portal opened. "Come, this is going to be a tight squeeze."

Tasmin stepped through the portal and crawled over Lynch.

He didn't notice her until a hand was placed over his mouth. He tried to struggle, but the hand had been holding a cloth drained in chloroform and he lost consciousness.

"Sir, isn't that Peck over there?" Crane asked, pointing out the window of the military sedan.

Decker didn't respond. Tasmin leaned forward and whispered in his ear: "Repeat after me: Why yes it is, Captain. And he's alone and on foot. There's no way he can avoid capture now."

Decker did as he was told. Tasmin nodded to Allison. They pulled Lynch out of the car through the portal without disturbing Crane and Decker any further.

Back in their office they propped Lynch up on their couch.

"So what are we going to do with him?" Allison asked. She was standing in front of him studying him carefully.

"I'm going through all the A-Team fics now to see if there are any set in between 1972 and 1983. We can probably dump him in one of those."

"Can we keep him?"

"Why would you wanna keep him?" Tasmin turned around in her chair and eyed her partner. She never thought Allison had enough marbles to begin with.

"I don't know. Other PPC agents get to keep souvenirs from fics."

"Not canon characters." With that statement Tasmin ended the matter.

Tempus fugit, Godspeed by Clorinda

"I don't see what you're problem is with this fic."

Tasmin poked violently at the screen of the console. Allison looked closer.

"You find that problematic?" She leaned back. "What's next? You want to go into a fic because someone parted Face's hair down the middle?"

"I would if need be."

"Well, you can fix those 'problems' on your own. I don't even own a comb."

"That comes as a surprise to me." Tasmin walked into the bathroom. "Luckily, you don't need a comb here. Just imagine what it would be like if Face gave you a massage like that."

Allison swiftly turned around in her chair. "You're okay with fantasizing about canon characters?"

"What ever you do to canons in the privacy of your own mind is no business of mine. It becomes my business if you put that stuff down in a fic."

"Ooh, I'm going to like this." Allison crossed her arms behind her head and closed her eyes.

"C'mon, let's go." Tasmin had finished packing her bag and opened up a portal.

"Can't right now. A good massage takes its time."

"We're going now." Tasmin grabbed Allison by her shoulder and nearly threw here through the portal.


Face put down the envelop, stroking the letters on it softly. He looked up and was startled to see two women standing in his room.

"How did you ...?" Face started.

"Fear not, Earthling." Allison raised her hand and gave the Vulcan greeting. "We come in peace."

Tasmin growled. "Shut up." She turned to Face and put on her best smile. "We've come to give you a manicure." She put a bowl down on the table and started filling it with hot water from a thermos.

"You broke in here to give me a manicure?"

"Are you gonna look a gifted horse in the mouth?"

"That depends. Do you actually know how to give a manicure?"

Tasmin threw him a look that made Face decide to ask no further questions and dip his hands in the bowl.

"Aahw, this is nice. You know, I was long overdue for a manicure, but my regular girl, she got married and moved away." Face sighed. "Such a waste."

"Is chit-chat required for a manicure?" Tasmin asked. She picked up one of Face's hands to inspect it.

"It is when I have one of my manicures."

"I guess you just have to suck it up, Tasmin," Allison added.

Tasmin growled again. "You do it. I don't do chit-chat."

"That comes as a surprise to me."

Allison grabbed a chair and sat down opposite of Face. She fed him with made up gossip and tips for foot rubs and back massages. She ignored Tasmin multiple times clearing her throat. Face suggested Tasmin took a Life Saver from the drawer.

"I'd get it myself, but I'm a little held up."

"I think you have soaked long enough." Allison picked up his left hand and dried it off with a rough towel. For his right hand she use a little small grain sanding paper to remove the callus. "How's that for you?"

Face felt his hands. "They haven't been this soft in years. Thank you. What do I owe you."

Allison opened her mouth, but before she could answer Tasmin coughed, again.

"I guess another Life Saver for Tasmin would be pay enough for us." She slung the towel over her shoulder and picked up the bowl. Muttering 'this close' and 'never again' she preceded Tasmin through the portal.

Face wondered whether he was having a very odd dream. Then he saw the envelop again. The ink on it smugged a little more than before.

I can recommend all these stories, in case you haven't read them already.

Lynch found a new home in A Sergeant's Choice by junkfoodmonkey.